Terrance Gonzo gets a history lesson as he ponders peacocks, mortgages and the most appropriate use for a cigar

A mortgage is the way to hell – that’s what he says. He turns back round, double takes A TSB … More

Terrance Gonzo goes to Brighton to eat pies but ends up in an experimental art piece

I was on the train to Brighton and I could smell the yawn breath of the man in a suit … More

‘There’s four quid there. I promise you that. It’s not all two p’s.’ ‘Nah, there’s one p’s too.’ We laughed. … More

I don’t trust post boxes. How can anyone? Little red tubs, standing in the street. How is that secure? How … More

Greetings Lovers… Hope you’ve all peeled yourself off whatever bathroom floor you found yourself on on New Year’s Day. I … More

Alright Sweetcheeks How are you? I wager better than Terrance Gonzo. Let’s have another dose from his brilliant Asylum For The … More

He was a dormant alpha male He was the blind drummer He was the star of EMPRICIO A greek/roman-esque epic … More

A chip off the old cock He asked so many questions Often the same one Multiple times. The thing is … More

Why when people reminisce do they remember things that didn’t happen? But everyone knows Colin Farrell is based on Mel … More

– Rules are made to be broken, he said. – No they’re not, she said. They can be broken and … More