Ed Spencer’s The Last Thing Anyone Thing Anyone Needs Is A Dribbling Crisis (and Oher Small Talk) is a blackly comic collection of thoughts, stories and things that probably shouldn’t have happened.
SECTION 1: KNOCKIN ABOUT THE NEIGHBOURHOOD
STORY: P.O.
I don’t trust post boxes.
How can anyone?
Little red tubs, standing in the street.
How is that secure?
How does anything ever get anywhere?
What a set-up.
And then of course I needed to post a letter.
It had been a long time since I had had to post a letter.
Off I went, letter in sweaty hand.
I walked past three post boxes. The vibe just didn’t seem right with any of them.
One – underneath some scaffolding. Postie ain’t gonna get that is he? Not gonna go burrow about down there.
I chucked the letter in a nice clean bin.
I thought: It’s got as good a chance as any in there.