2. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

The Last Thing Anyone Thing Anyone Needs Is A Dribbling Crisis (and Oher Small Talk) is a blackly comic collection of thoughts, stories and things that probably shouldn’t have happened.”

SECTION 1: KNOCKIN ABOUT THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

 

After two hours of sleep and two grams up her nose, Ms Manon Plouffe stumbled into the hippy-vegan outpost called Wild Cherry and caused great offence by asking for the ‘chicken salad.’

‘CHICKPEA,’ she was reprimanded.

‘Oh yes, haha. Hahahahahaha.’

Their stony stoic faces showed the lack of humour commensurate with those of a right-on disposition.

‘I’ll take the CHICKPEA salad then. And a bit of bread please.’

She was promptly charged Six Quid for the CHICKPEA salad and another 70p for the bit of bread, the amount seemingly calculated as reparation for offence caused and disruption of the feng-shui vibes.

She ate her food slowly and deliberately. It was revolting.

‘See you next week,’ said Ms Manon Plouffe on the way out. ‘Do you think you’ll have some chicken in by then?’

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