Not for the first time today Fred’s phone buzzed. It was his deputy at the CAU (Citizens’ Announcements Unit, more colloquially known as The Cow). She had an important query regarding a policy announcement.
Fred was being asked to rubber stamp –
“Following the death of a man in his forties, dressed in a Superman outfit, capes are now to be banned. This is the best option going forward.”
Apparently some fool had leapt from his window dressed in this heroic garb. The idea of an accidental death had been brushed aside by the Investigative Unit in charge of this sort of thing. They had reached a verdict of death by suicide and so now the two, capes and suicide, were inextricably linked and it was decided that for the people’s safety, capes would be banned.
“In addition sir, we suggest a ban on all fancy dress outfits to follow. We believe there is a real issue of identity crisis at work here.”
Fred laughed inwardly at the culture he had inculcated. “Indeed,” he responded. “Release this immediately and add – Why do these people want to pretend to be something they are not? We must help them confront who they are. We must be tough on identity crises, tough on the causes of identity crises.”
“Very good sir.”