Why when people reminisce
do they remember things that didn’t happen?
But everyone knows Colin Farrell
is based on Mel Gibson.
Is that drugs or pasta?
Ah yes, the ongoing battle with reality.
Problem was: OCD. There he was, stood at the sink, washing teabags.
And I realised I’d inadvertently
cut
my
hair
like the boyfriend of the girl I wanted to fuck Suddenly a dose of cold reality hit me:
This was probably a losing cause.
Had a bowl of cereal milked by individual UHTs
Had to open about 45 of the cunts.
And the
Cheap crumpets were quite a margarine affair.
You were a vegetarian
(with a penchant for organic food)
I gave you mechanically recovered meat
But I knew it was over when you told me
‘I’ve been subscribed antibiotics’
She was fit
In a greasy, slightly big arms kind of way
Probably from The Midlands.
She liked him about as much as the average person Likes raw egg.
She would talk for hours. All your saw were
belly-
up
stones.
Young American woman, look, like, kinda disgusted when they talk?
And slow moving old women seem to take up the whole pavement.
And Martina Navratilova says:
You have to use existing angles.
There’s an old woman who’s polite
But she’s got a Bo Selecta face.
They breed bulls for fighting
Good god
If I take a shit I’ll be late. That can’t be right as a scenario
The one for luck that gave me bad luck
But why don’t escalators go faster?
Life’s too short
The universe too massive
Gib your job
You can’t rely on tomorrow.