Terrance Gonzo’s Rules of Engagement


“Ok baby,” he said, very calm, not biting.

“Aaaaggggh! You always do this! You never take it seriously when you upset me.”

“Oh baby, I take very seriously your happiness and well-being. I think you’re wonderful. And that’s why I react the way I do. Because this insignificant argument we’re having has no bearing on how wonderful you are, and how wonderful we are, so I’m happy to let the moment past and not make it worse by reacting.”

He walked towards her. She was softening. He put his hand on her cheek, then through her hair.

“Baby, if it was something that was really massively important and genuinely making you upset of course I would go into it. We could talk about it at length.” He paused. “But I think I’m right in saying it isn’t like that. You just want me to do that thing – which I’m happy to do – and then we can move on. It’s not a big deal.”

He knew to pick his battles. Being angry was a waste of time anyway. A monumental waste of time.

She paused, shook her head slowly in way that said she agreed, as though weighing up the offer of a car. She looked up and smiled.

“You’re right.” She kissed him. “I think you’re wonderful too.”



The woman knew that if she made the man feel as though he was in charge, she could get what she wanted. ‘Please,’ she said, appealing to his gentle masculinity.

Either way, she would have her way. This way would just be less painless. She’d argue if she had to.

And the man knew that though you always played to win, that didn’t hold for a game played with your woman. To keep winning in that arena, you didn’t win the game.

“Ok,” he said.



“Why do you never say to me ‘it’s all gonna be ok’? That’s all I wanna hear sometimes.”

“Because nobody fuckin knows that!”

“So you’re not there for me?”

“Oh, come on. Course I am. But nobody can guarantee everything’s gonna be alright. But I can guarantee I’ll always be there for you. I can definitely say I entirely understand why you have these fears. Everyone has them. And I promise you you’ll never have to deal with any of that shit on your own.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Suit yourself.”


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