The correct heat of water to enter the bath should be

Slightly uncomfortable



Because within a minute or two of bath acclimatisation

Anything less than scorching-on-entry

Can quickly feel


Sometimes in life you don’t know what to take seriously

It seems anything

Could be a joke

A bad idea

An absolute



Gonzo’d up the clanger mate

Gone the full rhubarb

Mash donna hash

Drugs standard visuals

A form of synaesthesia.

I returned to:

‘She’s fit but she wears the same perfume as my grandmother. She just smells old.’

And a man who went round sticking complimentary poems to people’s backs – his observations on them. People expected the worse when they felt something pinned to them. Then they read it and they felt amazing and watched him walk into the distance.

His mother was lovely. Always had a bad word to say about everybody.

She made me realise: Microwaving a fresh coffee is hardly the most romantic thing to do.

Microwaving is hardly the most romantic thing to do.

‘All I’m saying is that UFOs are as likely to exist as God. If one person says they’ve seen a UFO and the other says they’ve seen God or felt his presence or whatever, why should I find more likely the one that vouches for God?’


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