He was back today, old Terrance Gonzo.
“I was in the area.”
He’d dashed off a quick bit of ‘short fiction’ this morn. Here it is:
Maya: Ross, I’m so annoying. I’m really looking forward to seeing you but I just have so many things to do today. MY belongings are all over London, my house is a state and I want to look smoking hot when I come meet you.
Maya: My rooms (sic) meant to get painted today so I need to go to bloody Homebase.
Maya: All this kind of shirt. I’m not necessarily cancelling but I also need to find a bed.
Maya: urgh ive just woken up and maybe just feeling a bit stressed out. Maybe we can meet 4/5?
Maya: BLOODY OVER WEHLMED. Sorry
Maya: Also this brexit shit is kind of kicking off today.
Maya: Your going to . wakeup to a million messages from me and its going to be embarrassing.
ME: I wouldn’t say embarrassing. Finding a bed, reuniting belongings, getting to Homebase in the midst of Brexit is a lot for a person to deal with on a Saturday morning. Sure we can meet whenever’s good for you.
ME: ps I find hard it to believe you could look anything other than smoking hot.
Maya: Hahahahahaha okay thank you. Can I let u know what time around 2?
ME: Of course. Take as much time as you need.
Maya: This march is silly. Dont tell anyone I said that
ME: It is, to be sure, a bit silly indeed.
Maya: You fancy maybe coming to mine for late lunch/early dinner and a fuck load of alcohol?
Maya: I’m so indecisive thats why I usually don’t anyone to allow me (all well sic) to have any say in anything haha. Okay im being crazy. Ill talk to you when my brain has realigned.
ME: Wow! Ok. Sure. Coming round to yours sounds good. Ps You know I initially didn’t see the last line of your previous text.
Maya: Haha yea so u wanna maybe come round. Not for a fuck though unfortunately
Maya: Oh nono don’t come here
Maya: Ok text u at 2
Maya: Okay yea come
Maya: Okay anything that you don’t eat?
ME: I’m not overly fussed about offal but other than that
Maya: This is a terrible idea timing wise
Maya: Sorry sorry sorry
Maya: Last plan change ever.
Maya: Dove dove dove
ME: Ok. See you at the Dove
Predictably, this one went nowhere. She was an hour and half late and I was hungover and tired. The date limped along and we never saw each other again.